Easy Living

The question to ask is, are you failing?

Or just gliding through life, easily sailing

Avoiding challenges, don’t push too hard

Never look silly, always on your guard

Stay always safe, do not take any risk

Much easier way to avoid life’s evil twist

 

I’m getting by nicely, why should I push?

I’m in no hurry, there’s no reason to rush

Go slow and steady, avoiding harm’s way

It’s not about winning, just get thru the day

Ambition is a fallacy, chasing foolishness 

Just do enough, that is always the best

 

No one can laugh, point an accusing finger

No shame or embarrassment around to linger

Greatness is not meant for everyone 

Legacy of some minor deed you’ve done

Who needs the hassle? It’s too much effort 

No thanks, I rather have nothing to report!

 

Edison did what? Ten thousand times?

He obviously was a man out of his mind! 

Got no time for that, just bumble along

I have no pressing desire to be the one! 

No hero complex here, no one to save

Just let me tip-toe safely to my grave

 

No point in enquiring, I won’t even try

I don’t need excitement, I’m not that guy

Let others be foolish, trying to get seen

No drink, drugs or dancing, keeping clean

Live fast, die young with great memories?

I’d rather live long and leave no legacy

Be My Proxy

Thirty, forty, fifty years, it’s a different scene

There are so many teenagers living my dream

Afforded opportunities, never came my way

Shunning their choices with so many at play

Know how lucky they are? So many chances

Rejecting opportunities, no second glances

 

So many young sports stars, now earning big 

I’m not being jealous, but they don’t give a fig

Getting paid massive money for kicking a ball

And some of them really not very good at all! 

It could have been me, had talent when young 

But how many chances came my way? None.

 

Still, I root for the youngsters, pushing them on

No green-eyed envy ‘cause my chance has gone

The harsh words I may type are meant to inspire

They’re not some misguided, jealousy fuelled ire 

Hate to see prodigious young talent just wasting 

As it was something I had no chance of tasting 

 

I’m helping young bucks, my opinion matters

Their minds too fragile, mentally left in tatters

It does not matter that I wasted my own youth

I still have the right to be out here telling truth

I pay good money to watch these guys play

So have every right to have – vent – my say! 

Poems Collected

I wrote a book! Yes, I did! Every single word

An electronic collection that is not absurd

now put together, my poems all in one place

downloadable to Kindle, for you to embrace

It’s my first edition, hopefully, there’ll be more

If you like my witterings head to the Kindle store

 

Money Mine

I would be so very good at being rich

Having the money to scratch any itch

Walk into top stores, playing all nice 

No worry or thought of the hefty price

I would buy a car, a plane and a boat

Ram naysayers words down their throats 

 

I would be so good with my cash money 

Dinero, spondoolies! It would be funny

To watch jealous faces lose their sheen

As they watch me spending all my green

I’d bathe in Cristal, in a platinum bath

Paupers disgusted as I laugh and laugh 

 

So please universe, let my numbers be

It must be my time to win the big lottery!

Sick of old couples taking my huge win

Wasted on foot ointment, cruises, and gin!

I’m meant to be loaded. I’ve got panache 

An exceptional talent at spending cash

 

You get what you think. Really? That’s funny

Because my mind is only ever on money!

Damn being all nice, like some sad sod

Whilst they’re being sweet, I’ll build my wad!

Fair means or foul, I will get my wedge

And go down in history, an absolute ledge

 

God, Allah, Supreme being, do your thing

Furnish my good self with unlimited bling

Fill up my pockets, all my bank accounts 

Let me write cheques that never bounce

You know it’s right, so beginning this fall

Give me the cash so as I can have it all! 

Ten Reasons You’re Single.

1.) You project desperation. The staring, manic grins, not attractive. Not at all.
2.) You’re so financially insolvent that you cannot even afford to be poor. You’re just po’.
3.) You’re a five and a half, six at best, but always go for nines and tens.
4.) You’re fat. You’re nice, but you’re still fat.
5.) You’re a miserable git. Misery loves company, not as a spouse though.
6.) You smell funny. A little off. Not quite right. You stink.
7.) You don’t pay attention. Bet you couldn’t read through this list without checking your phone!
8.) You’re too old (men) for that young ass you’re eyeing up!
9.) You don’t talk to people just for the hell of it. Stop hunting and start socialising.
10.) You think (women think) we should be open-minded, emphatic, ever thoughtful. We’re not, we are simple. Peace – not on Earth, of mind – laughing and food. That’s all.

Disclaimer: I have no real idea why you’re single. Maybe you’re overly picky or a complete arse, or just to damn awesome to be contained by one person. Probably not though. Whatever the reason, it’s definitely your fault.